4 (More) Online Dating Profile Photos That Make Women Want to Vomit

Well, it seems that the last post about online dating profile photos resonated with a bunch of you. Here are a few more types of photos that we’ve added, thanks to the feedback of our readers.

1. The “Which One of These Motherf*ckers are you?!” Photo

What’s the deal with guys who post profile photos of themselves posed with a group? The worst photos are the ones where the woman has to spend time scouring the image, trying to guess which one is the eligible bachelor. So single dudes: please crop your group photos, or just don’t include them at all. Well, unless you are a Chippendales dancer and the photo is of you and your other hot buddies. Then please post more!

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2. The “Unfortunately It’s Not Halloween” Photo

There are tons of profile pics of guys dressed in ridiculous costumes on Plenty Of Fish. In short, it is not ok to show yourselves dressed as Santa, Hello Kitty, or out-of-shape Batmen to win over the ladies.

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3. The “Apple Fritter” Photo

Kin to the “Sweaty, Bare Chest” photo mentioned in the previous post, these are images of dudes kissing their glistening biceps and looking all Incredible Hulk in their vain poses. Some (maybe most) of these guys have more muscles than brain cells. I personally find these photos really creepy. Then again, I find bodybuilding kind of creepy in general. *shudder*

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4. The “Yosemite Sam, Yippee Ki Yay, Motherf*cker” Photo

I’ve mentioned the word “motherf*cker” three times now! A new record!

Ok, confession time: gun-wielding men scare me. I don’t know any sane women who’d look at a photo of a guy holding a firearm and think to themselves, “My soulmate!” I don’t think this kind of guy is really hookup material either, honestly. He might, like, murder you.

My friend showed me a photo of a guy named Hector, 36, who lives 7 miles away from the San Fernando Valley. He had two guns ablazin’ at a party. A party! I bet everyone laughed at all of his jokes and was really nice to him. I hope it wasn’t a kid’s party.

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Thanks for reading! And Happy early Valentine’s Day, mother*ckers! (Yes, FOUR!)

*Photos courtesy of Plenty Of Fish.

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One thought on “4 (More) Online Dating Profile Photos That Make Women Want to Vomit

  1. yellowishcanary says:

    According to my WordPress dashboard, someone googled “make girls want you” and found my blog.

    Like

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